We are such social creatures who put everything in relationships. They're the most important things we cultivate- marriages, professional ties, friendships. If we don't do well with relationships, life can be very difficult. People will turn to extreme measures to make things work, and if they don't, it can be the most painful thing we have to endure...moving on.
I don't mean to be dramatic, but I think this is something we can all relate to in varying degrees. We've all lost friends and likely romantic relationships. I know I lost a few friends in high school, one close one in particular (not to any falling out, just that we grew apart and saw each other less often). Because there weren't any grandiose circumstances as to why we grew apart and slowly lost touch, I was pretty devastated. We were very close and we helped each other through some pretty tough times.
A year or two later, I got over it and moved on. People are transient. While there might be those very few, close staples in our lives, they are rare. And perhaps you're still friends with some others but aren't as close as you once were/wanted to be. Those friendships can be tough too.
Recently, I made a new, close friend for the first time in a while. It's not that I don't socialize, it's that I was in the same circumstances for a few years and there weren't many chances to meet new people and develop close friendships. I clicked instantly with this girl (as I often do- click really well with one or two people from a group) and we were texting everyday, hanging out every so often, and conferring about school and life.
Over the last month, though, I felt that she had been distant because she would hardly communicate. When I would text her every once in a while, she wouldn't respond or her responses wouldn't move the conversation along. I figured out that she wasn't mad at me (which was good because I didn't think I had done anything) but that she just hadn't been making the effort. However, it was more that she had been neglecting me and putting her time and energy into other, newer friendships from our Master's program group.
It's been a little tough to swallow because I was really excited to have a new friend, especially in this cohort. They understand exactly what I'm going through. Maybe I'll try to put a little more effort into the friendship, but if it's not reciprocated, then I'll just move on. Why make that effort when you're the only one willing to do so? Not worth it.
I didn't want to come here and rant (so hopefully that's not what it sounded like)... I just wanted to put my story out there to see if anyone could relate. Ultimately, I'd love to spark a discussion to see what your stories are or to see how you've dealt with similar situations.
Has something similar happened to you? How did you deal with it?
Photo Credit: Death to the Stock Photo
Blog posts from 2014-2015 were transferred from my original blog on blogger, Oshiro Design, to my updated website, oshirodesigns.com